Halloween

Halloween and the Day of the Dead

Dallas Berge

The third time. The third knock on the door, the third group of costumed children (could you call these costumes?) expecting free sweets, despite the “Trick or treat?” ‘question’.
Jemima tried to be polite. “I’m sorry, we don’t celebrate Halloween here. We’re Seventh Day Adventists.” It was a lie, but it was better than losing it and telling the children, with their wide eyes and smiles, what she really thought.
Every year it was the same. This year would be different. After carefully closing the door (rather than slamming it), Jemima found a piece of paper on which she wrote ‘Sorry. We don’t celebrate Halloween here. Please do not knock. We wish you good luck in your door-to-door visits.’
It wasn’t always like this. Some years ago, Jemima had accompanied her own children, going from door to door, saying “Trick or treat?” to whoever opened the door. This was done through slightly gritted teeth, but just as Jemima had feigned excitement at seeing ‘Santa Claus’ in the local mall, and tried to interest, if not excite her children in visiting ‘Santa Claus’, she was not keen at that time to dampen their spirits with her personal disdain.
But her children were grown-ups now. There were no grandchildren yet. She hoped there would be soon, but she’d already tried to plant the idea in their heads and it hadn’t been well-received, especially by daughter Frances and her husband Joe.  Frances was hell-bent on advancing in her career, (what for? wondered Jemima… isn’t being a mother the most fulfilling experience a woman could have?); son Dean meanwhile, always looked daggers at her. She had no idea Dean and Emily were having problems conceiving.
The phone rang. Who could it be? thought Jemima.
“Hello, Jemima speaking.”
“Jemima Stubbs? It’s Jenna Fairfield from Crown School of English. We were wondering if you were still interested in hosting a student?”
It had slipped Jemima’s mind that she had signed up to be a homestay parent some months ago, and anyway, why would they want her, a widow in her 50’s, to host a student anyway? They had been very nice, of course. They seemed to like her, but that was back in April, and she hadn’t heard from the school since.
“Um, yes, of course”, Jemima replied.
“Well, we have a Mexican student arriving in a few days’ time. We had a host family but they had to pull out at the last minute. She’ll be arriving on November the 4th because she has to celebrate the Mexican ‘Day of the Dead’ with her family first. Would you be available and interested in hosting a student from November 4th – November 20th?”
“I’m definitely available then…”, Jemima began, “but if you don’t mind my asking, what on earth is the ‘Day of the Dead’?”
“Ah…”, Jenna replied. “It’s an important celebration for Mexican people. Look it up online. It could be a useful topic of conversation if you choose to accept the student.”
“I would love to host this student. Will you simply send me the details or is there something else you need?”
“Nothing right now. We’ll send you the details and the contract, and if you are happy, just sign and return it.”
“This sounds good. I look forward to receiving your email and I’ll be in touch.”
“Thank you, Jemima. I’m sure both you and the student, Pilar, will get along well and it will be an enriching experience for both of you. I’ll email the details to you now. Goodnight.”
The call had been quite a surprise, so Jemima didn‘t know whether she was happy or perplexed at her own response. She had been hoping for a Japanese student – she had heard they were very polite and, as she was no longer accustomed to sharing her space, could only hope the student would be considerate and respectful.
Such short notice had left Jemima with little time to prepare, but the spare bedroom was always ready for the odd visit from her children, so there was not a lot to do. Apart from finding out what on earth the ‘Day of the Dead’ might be.
What Jemima read on Google astonished her. Preparing for a visit from the deceased? Expecting to go to a graveyard to laugh and enjoy memories of them? Nothing in Jemima’s church school education had prepared her for this. To Jemima, it seemed disrespectful. Who goes to a cemetery and has a party?
Although she hadn’t yet signed the contract, it was too late to back out now. She knew she was a last-minute choice, but if she didn’t host the student, who would?
And so Jemima took a decision. Not the decision to host the student – she had already made that, but a decision to visit her father’s grave, ready to celebrate, all on her own, without sadness but in a spirit of joy. She prepared some mementos of her long-passed father, bought some marigolds from a local florist’s, and went to the grave of a man she felt she had hardly ever known.
It was a lonely vigil (was it a vigil?) yet somehow Jemima managed to recall times of laughter, and although it was not something she would normally do, she stayed all night at the cemetery. Sometimes she laughed; other times she felt wrapped in sadness, almost overwhelmed by it, as if she had donned a very heavy coat. She went home, as the sun was rising and casting a tint of pink upon the sky.
Three days later, there was a knock on the door.
“Good morning, Jemima”, said Jenna. “This is Pilar. Pilar, this is your host mother, Jemima.”
Pilar simply smiled shyly.
And Jemima knew now that every decision she had made in the last 5 days had been the right one. There would be plenty to talk about.

Can Halloween be a spiritual celebration?

Dallas Berge

The (literally) ghoulish masks that confront me as I’m cajoled by the shops to buy a tacky costume, the kids that say “Trick or treat?” when they might as well say “We want our free sweets”… It’s that time of year, a time that I hate – Halloween. My gut reaction to this imported shopfest is one of distaste. Why should we participate in what appears to be an excuse to indulge in beliefs about ghosts and witches and a cynical ploy to make us buy large amounts of pumpkin?
Is there something else to Halloween that could be more meaningful? After all, it is possible to learn about something as a child and very much miss out on the whole, much more interesting story. Florence Nightingale, the only woman apart from Emmeline Pankhurst that I learnt about as a child, was presented to us kids as a nice kind lady who was a nurse during a war. It was only years later that I discovered she was one of the pioneers of Applied Mathematics. It was her systematic, extremely mathematical record-keeping and analysis which led to changes in the hygiene practices of hospitals. Our children may be encouraged to perform Halloween activities but they and we have every right to know more of the origins of Halloween and perhaps even create some traditions of our own.
The name is a contraction of ‘All Hallow’s Eve’; whether Halloween began as a purely Christian festival or whether its origins include Pagan beliefs, is disputed. Activities that are still practised today appear to support the latter. The trick-or-treaters who have little truck with me are actually mimicking the actions of distant forebears, who, in a tradition known in Celtic nations as ‘mumming’ or ‘guising’, would visit houses while in costume and recite verse or sing songs in exchange for food. I’d certainly be more interested in giving away sweets if the local children did either of these things, in fact if a child could recite an original poem I’d probably invite them in for dinner.
Another similar practice was the door-to-door visits of poor people (usually children), who, in exchange for ‘soul cakes’ would offer to pray for the souls of the dead. Soul cakes were then ‘offered’ to the dead. The connection to souls and the afterlife can also be seen in Mexico’s ‘Day of the Dead’ which despite its name takes place over three days, beginning on October 31st.  Preparations begin in advance: in homes shrines for the dead are created and adorned with marigolds (flowers of the dead), specially-made ‘bread of the dead’ and other symbolic items, along with whatever the deceased enjoyed in life – if that was tequila, a bottle of tequila will be included. People also visit cemeteries to adorn the graves in a similar way and spend all night there.
Such remembrance lends itself to the development of a more contemplative observance of Halloween far removed from dressing up as zombies and watching horror movies. There is nothing to stop us from explaining the origins of Halloween to children and inviting them to create rituals of remembrance without losing the aspects of Halloween that appeal to them. And those who are of a Christian persuasion might wish to observe the tradition of abstaining from eating meat, if a trip to the local church might be more than children unaccustomed to church-going can tolerate without an argument first.
At the very least, while I might not be praying for souls, this year I’ll pray for a visit from poetry-reciting children who, for their efforts, will be rewarded with a pack of sausages or a few lamb chops, as the dog and I will be abstaining.

Important Values

Sue Smith

My life has been based on values
Being truthful, loyal honest and kind
Determination and independence are important
A positive attitude and a sound mind

My mum taught me these traits
Of how to treat people well
Trying not to be judgemental
Of mistakes try not to dwell

I feel these lessons have helped me
As I was growing up self-reliant
In my friendships and relationships
Even during a bad breakup rant

I’ve tried to instil my values
To my children over the years
I feel I’ve encouraged them to be strong
Although there has been some tears

Now as I am getting older
My basic rules still all apply
Love, sharing, caring and respect
Good morals will always rank high

The Inconvenience

This post includes a few pieces of writing on INCONVENIENCE.

Anne Erez

The water stopped.
"Well if you ask me it very inconvenient.I mean why not just have a normal celebration like all her other weddings?" asked James as he stepped out of the shower and grabbed a thick white towel from the hook on the wall, towelled himself dry and wrapped it around his waist.
His words were directed to his wife Sonia who was sitting at her make-up table applying the finishing touches to her immaculately made-up face. She stopped what she was doing and turned to answer him.
"Oh James, it's her wedding and goodness knows her husband to be is wealthy enough to afford a wedding like that and if that is what she wants well why not?" and she continued her primping.
"But it's not her 1st wedding and why does she expect everyone to go all the way to some tropical paradise? Probably will be another disaster like all her other couplings!" he exclaimed and walked towards the dressing room to dress for the upcoming function they were going to.
"But Barbara is my sister and I am expected to go and anyway I think it will be lots of fun with those crazy friends of hers. Always is. So I am going with or without you". She grinned and paused for a moment and looked at herself in the mirror.
 For all her confident words Sonia knew exactly what he meant. Her sister Barbara had been married twice before and had numerous close calls and long relationship in between. No one really believed that this one would be any more successful than the previous ones. But at least this time her groom was a much older, successful wealthy man who already had grown children and was only interested in enjoying their life together. Maybe this one would last? They certainly seemed to be very besotted with each other. But then again appearances can be very deceiving she reminded herself. And anyway she was planning on James not being around to spoil her fun.
"Well, I'm not sure I'll have the time to just take off for a few days especially in the middle of this new project. The timing is just so damn inconvenient for me" said James as he popped his head around the doorway from inside the dressing room.
"OK that's fine. You know you really don't have to come, darling. I am sure you will find it boring and anyway you need to concentrate on that important project you said". She sat still waiting for his reply and realised that she was holding her breath.  She tried not to remember the crazy antics she got up to last time these friends got together and the consequences for her.  So she continued to fuss with her long dark hair until it looked just the way she liked it and sat on top of her head with a few tendrils escaping around the side. It softened her face and accentuated her beautiful green eyes.
There was silence for a few minutes while he completed his dressing then he came to her with a grin on his face and put his hands on her shoulders and gave her a little squeeze.
"No, no. I think I'll join you this time. Why should I let you have all the fun with that wacky bunch? But what's the dress code for a luxury beach wedding these days? Knowing Barbara and that current poor devil she is tied up with it will be elaborate no expense spared affair". Said, James.
"Yes, I believe she is thinking of that fabulous place with the villas over the water. Why don't you think about it and then decide? There's still plenty of time." Sonia sighed and tried not to show her dismay. She stood up and turned to view herself in the floor to ceiling mirrors on the adjacent wall. She was happy with her appearance in her black sheath dress with the narrow sparkling straps matching the long drop diamond earrings that James had given to her as a present on the birth of the first of their two children several years ago.
"You look fabulous my darling," he said as he grabbed her jewelled hand and planted a very exaggerated kiss in the air just above her fingers.
They gave their contact instructions for the night to the Nannie before going out to the waiting car that would take them to the city to the function which was important for their business. It would likely be the usual type of event with all the so-called dignitaries, both real and imagined, and the special overseas visitor high flyers. There was always an ample supply of excellent wines and a very elaborate food menu. They both knew from experience what their roles were at these PR functions and James left Sonia when he spied a potential client in the crowd.
He gave her elbow a squeeze and whispered to her, "OK now it's time to start working" and he moved past groups of finely dressed men and women towards the further side of the room. There was lots of low-level laughter and clinking of glasses around them.
 Sonia was quite content to move among those that she knew and preferred to be able to mingle with whoever she thought looked or sounded interesting. Sometimes she was even able to pick up juicy bits of information from the people who were hovering around especially after a few glasses of something or other. She took a glass of bubbly from the handsome young waiter who passed by and made her way over to the noisy group of six or seven people near the bar area.
"Hello, darling," said a tall blonde woman as Sonia moved towards her. She looked to be in her late thirties but Sonia knew was really a good ten years older with the help of everything she could manage including a very wealthy husband. She was immaculately dressed in a stunning very tight, very low cut red dress which moulded to her shapely figure. She lent over to air kiss Sonia on the cheek.
"Oh hello, Diane sweetie. You look amazing, as usual."  She returned the smile and glanced around the room. She moved in to whisper to her. The same social climbers as last months do on the Northbank I see."  They both laughed and turned around to the group who spread out to include them.
After an hour of the small talk and mixing the dinner was announced and they all proceeded to the dining room through wide twin carved timber doors. The huge room was decorated with fantastic flower centrepieces of red and gold on each of the twenty round tables of ten that were set out around the room. A small dais was at one end where later several speeches would be given and a three-piece string band played soft background music at the far end. By this time everyone was suitably relaxed and were weaving around the tables to find their allocated seats.  Sonia was turning to talk with a very dapper silver-haired man behind her and was heading towards their table in the middle of the room when a hand reached out and grabbed her arm.
"Hello, darling," said a handsome dark haired man quietly from a chair facing her. She gasped, looked at him and stopped but tried to not make too much of it. She could feel herself starting to tremble at his touch. "How are you Sonia?" he asked and as he stood up he dropped her arm but grabbed her hand and all the time staring into her eyes.
"What a surprise to see you here Peter," said Sonia with a wide smile on her face but she really felt very flustered. People were still noisily walking past to their seats and no one took any notice. She looked up and around quickly to find where James was and saw him sitting at their table further over in deep discussion with an Asian man that she didn't recognise. He had his back to her and was concentrating on his conversation.
"I hear we will both be going to some wonderful lush tropical island soon for Barbara and Ted's wedding? Should be an amusing few days eh?" He looked at her and then "Is James coming too?" He moved in closer and stared intently at her.  He raised one eyebrow and searched her face.
"Oh yes he says he is going to join us this time but you never know...." she replied and shrugged her shoulders. They both stared at each other.
"Oh how very inconvenient" laughed Peter and he released her hand.
"Yes, he thinks it is very inconvenient too". Sonia smiled and stammered. She moved off to join her husband at their table watched by the handsome dark haired man.

Sue Smith

Lots of things happen to try us
In the busy lives we live
Not everyone has the patience
To be able and willing to forgive

Many things are inconvenient
Like people running late
Others in such a hurry
They forget to shut the gate

Traffic is also inconvenient
Bumper to bumper along the road
Racing to get home to family
Always causes more stress to the load

How inconvenient to be low on fuel
That will make us later
But we must stop to fill up

As running out will make the stress greater

When the supermarket runs out
Of your favourite ice cream
That is very inconvenient
I’m sure you know what I mean

But all of these problems
Are nothing compared to some
We should be grateful for what we have
Knowing that more inconveniences will come

Valentine's Day Suprise

Anne Erez

“Love is in the air” hummed Carol as she made her way down the 1st Class Only gate to the big aircraft snuggled up to the end of the ramp.

“Stop that nonsense Carol,” she said to herself as she fixed on her travel face to the greeting staff at the door. She was a romantic she acknowledged and why not she asked herself.

It was a whimsical distraction from her busy corporate life which she acknowledged had been fabulously successful.  Now approaching 40 she was wondering if there was something else or somebody special out there for her. Over the years as she built up her business there had been several distinct Mr Right possibilities but in the end, she felt let down when they didn’t measure up to her list of ideal requirements.

“Am I too damned picky?” She often asked herself but this was what had made her very successful. Never settle for 2nd best if the best was available. Well, here she was nearly forty and getting tired of the roundabout.

She shook her head as she made herself comfortable in her very expensive 1st class suite and sipping the cold crisp champers offered to her from the smiling handsome flight attendant. Probably gay so no fun there she thought. After take off she tried to rest and get comfortable and gather her thoughts for the long flight ahead before she arrived at the next round of meetings and appointments. Thank god she had arranged for her driver to meet her at the airport so that she could get straight to work when she arrived.

Carol was trying not to think of her most recent breakup if you could call it that. It wasn’t her fault she reasoned if her younger partner of nearly two years had decided that he wanted his married domestic life back with his beautiful doting wife and two small children. Truthfully it was a relief from Carol’s point of view. Pity, he was such fun but she was so used to living her hectic life as she wanted and wasn’t ready to be a stepmom to two children under twelve. The demands on their alone time were hampering her ideal lifestyle of weekends or special breaks away somewhere romantic or at least interesting. She recalled her most recent lucky escape when she remembered that it wasn’t very much fun staying in a luxury hotel suite on a tropical island when the weather was abysmal and even the so-called kids club couldn’t keep the little blighter's occupied. She would much rather have spent the few precious days alone with him in the huge four-poster net draped bed and the tempting private plunge pool was just made for skinny dipping no matter what time of day or night. They had returned home earlier than planned and she had been sort of grateful when the relationship had ended.

The flight was reasonably full and 1st class was always a hive of quiet activity as the flight attendants served the tantalising food and fine wines and helped passengers with their sleeping requirements.

“I’m not hungry yet and I can’t relax enough to sleep so I think I’ll go up to the bar upstairs and see if that can quieten me down,” she told herself.

Climbing the staircase at the rear of the 1st class cabin to the sky bar was like stepping into another world at some classy hotel bar. The light background music and the comfortable soft chairs set around the little circular bar at the end and the quiet clink of glasses and the soft hum of conversations were just what she needed. The seating was arranged in pairs around the perimeter with some seats facing each other with small circular tables between them and some swivelled around to the windows. After ordering from the bar she looked around but there was only one vacant so she slipped into it. It was facing a rather large balding man hiding his face in the Wall Street Journal who didn’t even look up or take any notice as she sat down opposite him.  

Carol wasn’t used to being ignored. With her tall slim figure immaculately clad in her French label travelling outfit and long dark thick glossy hair framing a face with fine features and big expressive emerald green eyes she was used to men watching her every move when out and about. Probably her air of confidence and obvious wealth also helped. She sipped her champers and looked over her fellow travellers. Just the usual bland businessmen and a few women and some who were obviously enjoying their 1st foray into the sky bar.  There were a few middle eastern thick set men with their heavily made up and expensively dressed female companions jangling with their heavy gold jewellery. I bet they are the paid trophy women she thought and instantly dismissed the whole crowd.

The only one she couldn’t really observe was the man opposite her. Suddenly the plane made a slight shudder as they hit an air pocket. Her glass on the small table between the two chairs splashed and almost tipped over.

The silent man lowered his paper and looked her squarely in the eyes. She was momentarily taken off guard by his direct gaze so she smiled and attempted to mop up her wasted vintage on the table between them before it reached his side and part of the newspaper resting there.

“Hmmm,” he murmured.

“Oh gosh I am sorry,” she said as she reached over to his side of the table.

“Hazards of flight” he answered and his grin spread to his eyes which crinkled up at the corners.

“I don’t usually come up here on flights but am feeling a bit restless and hoped this could relax me before I sleep”

“Yes, I always think it is a very good way to unwind too” He smiled. “My name is Jonathan Kingston” and he leant forward and stuck out his hand.

“Hello Jonathan I’m Carol” and she reached the offered hand and he held it for a few seconds.

“Business or pleasure,” he asked as he swept his arm around the bar.

“Oh business, as usual, I’m afraid” she answered “Sometimes I would just love to go somewhere special with someone special without all the deadlines” She exclaimed and bit her lower lip.

“Oh gosh, I didn’t mean for that to come out as jaded as it sounded!” as she put her hand over her mouth and laughed.

“I know exactly what you mean Carol. That used to be me a few years ago until I decided that time was marching on and I wasn’t really enjoying all my hard earned perks so I cut back on the business travel and visited all the places I usually go to just as a tourist. Such a different exhilarating experience with no deadlines!”

Carol noticed that his whole face lit up again and thought that he really was a very interesting middle-aged man despite his overweight and balding appearance although of course he was very well dressed and groomed. Even his bald head was shiny and almost matched the shine from his silver cufflinks she glimpsed as he waved his hand to the waiter. Very different to the usual good looking younger types she favoured.

“Please another glass for my companion here,” he said to the waiter as he came over to the table.

“Oh no I am fine thanks,” she said

“And you sir,?” asked the barman as he took the now empty glass from in front of Carol.

“Oh nothing for me at the moment thanks” he replied. He swivelled his seat around to directly face Carol and said “I don't like to drink too much either when I fly because I always get hungry too and I certainly don’t need any more here” he said as he patted his belly and laughed.

Carol wasn’t sure how to answer that so she just grinned.

“Constant travel doesn’t help keep a healthy lifestyle does it?” he said “Although you obviously don’t show any signs of that,” he said and smiled and took in her perfectly poised demeanour.

She grinned again and nodded her head. This was what she was used to.

“Thanks but it is a constant battle to stay fit and healthy and have the stamina required for different countries let alone quite different time zones. I always stay at the same places so at least I know the area and feel confident to go out for a run when I want. This time I have actually given myself a couple of free days so am hoping to sightsee or at least relax more”.

“That's a wonderful idea,” he said. “I have a few days of business to attend to and I also have given myself some downtime. Perhaps I can show you some of the best-hidden spots that only the locals get to see,” he asked “but of course I don’t want to impose on you if you would rather be by yourself”

He looked carefully at her with a big smile on his face while she made up her mind. Maybe that's just what she needed to get her out of her deepening melancholy and she was always ready for a challenge and he looked like a man who was used to enjoying his life.

“You know that would be wonderful. Thank you very much. I think I would enjoy that”.

They sat and talked for awhile and she was impressed with his intimate knowledge of the various places where she also did business and the cultural constraints some of them presented. They laughed at some of the stories they shared and the conversation flowed freely.  She began to think that there was an older man with many intriguing possibilities.

They accommodation details and he said “I will contact you to arrange the time and plans if that's OK? Is Tuesday free for you?”

“Yes as far as I know at the moment that will be fine”

Then she realised that Tuesday was Valentines Day and she would love the company of a titillatingly different type of man to what she usually was attracted to.

“Love is in the air” she hummed to herself as she made her way back downstairs with a dreamy look on her face ready to get her beauty sleep.

Living with your new spider

Dallas Berge

You may find it takes some time to adjust to living with your new spider, just as it takes time to adjust to living with another human. Unlike humans, most spiders are not interested in you, and will not intentionally seek out your company, yet there he is, on the wall of your bedroom, just sitting (standing?) there…

You may think your spider is ugly. Don’t worry, many people feel this way. It is quite likely your spider thinks you are ugly, too.

Remember that spiders love to catch flies. If you live in a country with a lot of flies, having a spider may be beneficial. It is not recommended, however, that you encourage flies to reside in your home. There is much evidence that they can pass on diseases so think twice before leaving uncovered meat or a half-eaten ham sandwich lying around.

Many people fear being bitten by spiders, however, if your spider is of the amiable huntsman breed, this is unlikely to happen. What you may find disconcerting is the huntsman’s ability to cover a large amount of ground in a very short time. You notice your spider on your drawn curtains, then just a second later he can be seen crawling behind the television on your wall. These spiders are not naturally drawn to electronic devices and appliances, and your television broadcasts will not be affected by the presence of your spider. Nor will your curtains be damaged in any way.

As you will find trying to catch your huntsman spider is a fruitless task, however well-intentioned, it is in your best interests to learn to love your spider. You may never become friends, but with luck, the sharing of your space will not distress you, as long as you do not have the misfortune of having your spider fall off the ceiling and land in your mouth while you are sleeping.

If you have any concerns about your spider or would like more information, do not hesitate to contact the Beenleigh Spider Rescue and Retirement Home on the following number: xxxxxxxx
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